Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
