Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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