Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
