Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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