beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize