All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
