I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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