Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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