can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
