I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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