3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
