I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
