I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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