Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
