The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
