you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
