Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
