I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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