Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
