Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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