as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize