turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
