I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He? As in you personified your dick?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
