can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
