they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
