Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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