do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
