i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
