I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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