i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
