Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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