so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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