i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
