I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
