she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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