Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i now understand why vodka
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
