Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize