Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
