Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
