batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
