I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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