the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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