She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
