i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
