he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize