I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
