I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
