Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
