I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well I just put wine in my tea
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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