Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
