My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize