11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
