He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
