You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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