am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
