STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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