areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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