yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
