i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
