So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
farters have to be the big spoon...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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