the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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