Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
