She's JV to your varsity
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
